85 That paintball war were Nero“s pretty much being attacked by a puppy for half of i

A devil may cry fanfic

Now that his sweetheart was safe he took his jacket off of her and wiped the paint off her face.

"Thank you"

*she blushed and he passionately kissed her*


"The end is nigh lord sparda save us"

Nero really wanted to question his nun of a wife on that statement but he's currently trying to land at least one hit on this dam puppy who keeps getting him and his girl every dam time. Not to mention he hasn't gotten the little fucker once. He's to tiny and fast. But he's pelted in the face with another paint ballon.


"Dam it get back here I'm not being beat by a dog!"

Nero gets up and went to chase it but saw lily and Dante making out...possibly even about to do the thing...they were French kissing pretty long.

"Dam it get a room go-"

Suddenly a bucket of paint dumped on Nero the dog had somehow managed to get up onto one of the obstacles just to do that to Nero.kyire can't help but laugh at the situation. Lily and Dante's make out session was cockblocked by a freakin grande filled with paintballs.

*dante devil triggers and shields lily*

(Shit I forgot about those...those could actually hurt someone)

*it detonated and there was a paint explosion followed by smoke*


Patty screams and began jumping up and down with joy. The rest are coughing from the smoke. Lily looks a little pale but she's fine. Dante has gone back to normal and is guiding lily out of the room so she can get some air that isn't contaminated with smoke.

"You ok?"

Inner demon "lie if she asks about the bomb thingys..."

(...fine only because we haven't been married for more then a day)

Inner demon "WHOOO HE LIED"

(technically I haven't cause she didn't ask yet also fuck you I'm a honest man)

Inner demon "you wonder why I'm bored"

(...bitchs get stitches)

Inner demon "but we're the same thing"

(....fuck it's right)

"I'm good why don't we stop paintballing for a while"

"Yup wait what time is..."

(Sweet mother of Satan how's it already midnight?)

"...don't be mad but it's midnight"

"I haven't been mad in 3 years so I don't care"

Inner demon "come on that takes the joy outta making him lie to you"

(...listen you shut your ass up)

"Wanna turn in or nah?"

(...is it ok for her to be up this long when she's...)

"I'm not scared I'm not a pussy! Also I don't wanna ruin the fun"

(...I blame the girls for the first sentence that came out of that little mouth)

"...I had karaoke but to be honest after that I got nothing I suck at planning stuff"

"Haha same though"

(Well for social stuff...what are we doing with all this god dam food and decorations though?)

(...I'm probably not getting any til morning she'll fall asleep as soon as she lays down)

Inner demon "...that's never stopped anything that lives in hell"

(We are gentlemen not rapists)

*lily had been consuming a shit ton of sugar to keep herself from falling asleep since it's 12 in the morning*

~Meanwhile inside~

"Shit my wife's gonna kill me it's 12am"

Nero's the first to blurt it out what everyone else was currently thinking.

"Holy shit you have a wife Morison since when?"

"...kid did you really think I was young enough not to settle down?"

"...no shoot don't kick my ass I'm sorry I didn't mean it like your a grandpa oh fuck I did it again"

*Kyrie slaps Nero so he doesn't get his ass kicked*

"Sorry didn't want someone else to..."

Patty screams


they've been left alone this entire time. She frantically runs out to go home to check on the kids. She randomly threw a present at the couple before leaving. It hit lily in the face.

"Ow oh wait thanks...oh she's gone"

"Why'd she give us stuff? It's not our birthday"

"It's a old odd human tradition when couples get married, now watch it'll be something that could've hurt me if it landed the wrong way or something we might never use."

~cuts to the orphanage kids dragging a dead deer in the house cuz they got hungry and Jessica went hunting~

And by hunting I mean she beat up a demon who'd already killed the dam deer and stole its food. A concerned kid speaks up.

"Don't you think Patty might get mad..."

Jessica stares at him

"Survival of the fittest"

Truth be told all of them believe that so they don't question it and started to do whatever people do to get at the deer meat and cook it...

~back to the party~

It's somewhat died down and Dante got pelted with a present when Morison left. Since he heals really fast the bloods fired up and his bruise is gone.

"Wtf even is in here?!"

*Nero is pisssd*

"I got beat by a dam puppy!"

*Kyrie pats his back*

"I did to so it's ok your not the only one"

(But kyire you were the worst player since you don't know how to use weapons! I kill shit everyday to pay bills)

*nero got another face full of paint from the dang dog*

"Get back her you little asshole"

*nero chases the puppy still trying to get one shot to hit with the paintball gun*

"...but he's a dogo"

"Kyire it's mundus in the form of a doucebag dog"

*Kyrie hands Dante a present*

"...it was short notice so it's just pie"

"Aww thanks"

(I will break you if you steal my man you dam nun)

For some odd reason Kyrie felt that somehow something was threatening her but due to Lily's poker face she can't tell what it is so she ignores it.


*Nero has gotten the fast little pupper painted*

"Took you long enough he's just a dog"

"Lily he's mundus there's no way he can't be I kill shit for a living and it was next to impossible to nail that bastard!"

(Suuure it was Nero)

Lily refused to believe that the dog was actually a challenge due to the line of work that they were all in except for Patty Morison and Kyrie they have excuses but Nero didn't. The couples all went home and went to bed...Dante got no booty because he totally called her passing out as soon as she hit the sheets.