107 Drama bomb god dam it nocturne

A devil may cry fanfic

"It was at this moment lily knew she fucked up"

~this line was provided to you by dmc5's Morrison who's really just Morgan freemen wearing a hat~

Nocturne's happily staring at her across the table with all the dam food on it. In the course of a single meeting she's probably racked up a months worth of debt to this dude.

(Forgive me darling for I have sinned but I'll be damed if I don't eat the strawberry shortcake!)

*steals slice of the cake hopping she doesn't get drugged as she eats it*

(Pretty....-.- lucky Dante)

*nocturnes still staring at her*

(...is this what the zoo animals feel every day cuz this is super weird for me)

"Will you join my council that I'm forming because mundus sucks at his jo- holy fuck did he just backflip?"

*he did a triple backflip while she's talking to him*

"yesss! I don't care what it is I'll do anything for you!!"

(Oh no he's bat shit....fuck daring I made a mistake)

"Okays....um what would you like to discuss since we definitely need to eat at least a quarter of all this food I don't think my sister in law will be pleased with all the waste..."

*He sat back down in his seat now with a intoxicatingly strong aura of strange happiness radiating from him*

"Anything I know as much about you as he does I only know of one thing he doesn't though...cuz he's currently gone and I'm sensing it now"

"And what might that be?"

*She's a little on edge now but holding a poker face so he won't be able to tell*

"Those are twins congrats"

"Awwww~ oh wait oh no Nero's gonna be pissed"

"Yeah...he will until he sees the cuteness! So there's that right?"

She doubted that the cuteness would make him freak out less since the thought of just one almost made him lose it if he hadn't already lost it...

(....he's the complete opposite of Lucifer....-.-fuck it's hard to talk politics with a pup that'll just agree with everything I say...maybe I could ask him what stuff we should start sending to hell to try to kick start a economic system?)

*She sighed before asking him*

"What do you like about this world that you'd like in yours?"

(Aaaand I fudged up I asked in a roundabout manner...-.-ll)

"You of course but I think that'd be reckless to just start living in hell for no dam reason"

(Dante's a lucky bastard...)

*She stared at him while she try's to think of another way to ask him*

"So you know how there's that Mecca stuff that's semi useless other than the occasional shady alley guys that'll exchange it for human currency since the humans don't understand it's pretty worthless since there's no trade activity happening in hell?"

"Oh you meant material stuff"

*She nods*

Lucifer was right on the money about nocturne being a weeabo. He went on a long tangent about the anime industry and idol culture. She ends up taking notes on napkins as he rants. Heck he even mixed in some normal pop culture as well...so he's probably not that bad. She didn't realize all the notes she had taken were literally backwards English. She'd soon realize that once she'd returned home. They only ate like a quarter of all the crap he'd ordered she ended up boxing the rest off and intended to leave the leftovers at the orphanage since the kids could probably tackle the rest of it since puberty may or may not be a thing for some of them in there.

"Uh that's a lot need any hel...oh dam"

She'd slung half of it onto her shoulders and was balancing the rest on her head as she walked off. Needless to say the amount of leftovers was around the size of a large horse.


*She gazes at him with not the slightest clue why he'd uttered an "oh dam" she was pretty sure she wasn't dressed very sexy and didn't get why he'd done that*


She made a "hmm?" And then began making her way to the orphanage and then to home.