12 Ho Boi

Absurd Mage in Another World

Sarah began studying the red book titled Fireball. While Mike picked up the black book called blink and opened it up. When he did this the knowledge of the spell flooded hid brain. Letters and formulas gushed through his brain. A notification was put on his skill list. It said blink learned.

Mike: 'Nice I can instantly learn spells with my gift From that strange god.'

Mike looked towards Sarah who was studying diligently. A few days past and Sarah got the hang of using fireball in the library's small courtyard out back. She also tried learning the spell blink but couldn't grasp the concept even with explanations from Betuel. So she just handed it back to me saying with an exasperated face, "Here, have fun." I guess I'll pretend that I'm struggling to make her feel better about herself. After all this Blink book is pretty interesting. It is linked closely with the stuff I studied in astronomy but links mana to it.

...

Betuel: "The time for the parade has come, good luck with whatever crazy stunt your trying to pull."

Sarah: "But I haven't even learned Blink yet!"

Betuel: "That spell is a very archaic tome, I'm not sure of even I fully understand it."

Mike: 'That's what he says but I think he's more experienced and knowledgeable than most people in this world.'

Mike: "Thanks for everything." Mike said while waving.

Sarah: "Yes thank you very much!"

Both turned their backs and went down the alleyway. Betuel's eye flashed blue as he watched them go away.

...

The celebration day came, it was time to celebrate the new city lord. Confetti littered the street and drawings of the new city lord, Ureas circulated throughout the city of Honfor. The common folk lined the streets, making the streets a clusterfuck. You know it's clustered with people, so many people, that fuck must be added to the word: cluster. For example it's just like that horribly designed high school hallway during lunch period. Or maybe that juncture connecting the hallways overflowing with people. Combining the clusters to make one fucking cluster, a cluster fuck. Either way it was crowded. The purpose of this crowding was to peek upon the greatness of the new lord.

Sarah whispers: "Mike, will this really work? Are we really doing this?"

Mike blankly states: "Why else would I sit in the crowed streets like this. I hate cluster fucks."

Sarah stared at mike with a confused stare. 'Cluster?... fuck?...' Sarah's cheeks glowed bright red at the thought of this, cluster fucking.

Mike looked away towards the opening on the street where the lord will soon parade through. And he thinks to himself: 'Anyways I already took my Payment of squeezing. God it was so GOoooOd! I never got the chance to do that in my last life, since I always accidentally dodged it, that Shitty CURSE!!! I couldn't even hug my mother, even as a baby. When I tried I would be dropped face first into hard wood or stone floors. Lots of other things where dodged but let's not think of those.'


Soon soldiers in plate an open carriage lined with silver made its way down the street. Standing in the open carriage was the new city lord Ureas. Along with a guard in decorative silver armor that looked painfully heavy. The lord looked down upon all of the people lining the street. His eyes curling in delight over his position.

Mike: "There he is. Let's do this."

Sarah: 'With who? With what?... What is in the cluster?!!'

Mike: "Hellllo?"

Sarah: "Oh." Sarah's trail of though went whoopt!whoot! SCREeeE BANG at Mike's interruption. "But I couldn't get the spells to work... We had so little time."

Mike ignored her and said "Just fire your fire ball. I'll get us out of here."

Sarah charged up her fire ball but Mike noticed that just behind the carriage was a group of mages

Parading.

Mike stressed: 'If they cast a shield we're gonna have a hard time. The execution must be perfect.'

Sarah started casting fire ball sneakily behind Mike's back. Once she finished Mike swept her off her feet into a princess carry. Then Mike shouted in his mind 'BLINK!'

The man holding the beautiful black haired broad was teleported three feet above the kawky lord.

A mage in the parade saw a man and woman teleport above the carriage. It was completely unbelievable, but somehow they where there. 'Isn't teleportation a sacred magic? Who are these people?' the mage started casting shield. A blue aura started slowly glowing in his hand. But, his casting was far too slow. He couldn't even get halfway done with his spell before it was all over.

In the girls hand was a fire bolt and it was quickly released at the knight next to the lord before gravity took action on the duo. The fire ball blew up in the proud knights' face. Smoke billowed, a sizzling sound accompanied by the smell of bacon. The knight's body dropped to the ground his face now a skull with no skin on the front. the eyeballs had popped and their juice flowed down the exposed jaw.

The crowd screamed in fear. Knights drew their swords and started to swarm towards the carriage. Mages started their long chants with their staffs and wands.

Gravity took action on the duo forcing them to drop down stepping onto Ureas' head knocking him out as his head impacted on the carriage floor.

Still holding onto Sarah Michael said lightly "Blink." A blue mystical flash was what was left of the two people and the unconscious lord. They had teleported onto the top of a two story house. The man held the girl in a princess carry and was still standing on top of the lord. They then disappeared by using blink continuously. Eventually blinking into a empty alley way.

....

The alleyway Mike had Blinked into had a barrel alongside the wall. Mike went towards it leaving behind Sarah who was staring at Michael in amazement and the knocked out lord. He opened up the barrel to find a grey donkey costume inside.

Sarah: "How did you learn [Blink]?"

Michael: "I'm good at reading books. How else would I know it?"

Michael then stuffed the unconscious city lord Ureas into the donkey costume. Afterwards the worn donkey costume was tied up with rope.

Sarah: "Yes but..."

Mike: "But What?"

Sarah shook her head: "Never mind." Sarah let out a breath. "But! I need to kill him for what he's done!"

Mike: "But do you think that is fair?" Mike put a grin on. "He's killed your whole family but you want him to pay with only one life, his?"

Sarah: "Yes!... N-no. What... will we take him to a dungeon? I heard my father and a subordinate talk of it once after catching bandits."

Mike: "No I have something better in mind."

....

Now Ureas was dressed up as a donkey and was put onto a wagon which will be going through Rek's swamp, back to the capital city.

Michael: "Don't worry Sarah he will get a living hell soon." They both saw the wagon off.

A day later Ureas woke up on the horse drawn carriage. The carriage horses stopped in fear in front of a stone house. He noticed that he was tied up. the donkey looked up from the back of the carriage at the driver.

Ureas: "Why am I tied up! What is this! I'm in a donkey costume!"

The driver was too scared to even care about the strange tied up donkey int the back of his wagon. He was shivering so hard you would think that he's working up a sweat. But he was completely silent not letting a breath out.

A shadow loomed over Ureas. The horses looked back and saw the owner of the shadow and they instinctively screamed in terror and galloped away at full speed. The horses where so fast that Ureas was knocked off the carriage by the force that was put on the carriage.

Rek: "There you are! my donkey! I guess that merchant was right. They always come back." Rek untied Ureas who was in the donkey costume.

Ureas saw that an ogre was touching him.

Ureas: "Unhand me!" He screamed.

Rek: "There's no need to play hard to get donkey. After all, I'm your love and life. Come let's play donkey." Rek picked up donkey over the shoulder and went into the stone house.

Ureas: "Nooooo! Let GO! NOOOO!" Ureas had snot coming out of his nose and tears streaming out of his eyes.

Ureas: "I'm a HUMAN not a donkey!"

Rek: "Oh yea? You have the smell of a donkey, a strong one at that. You cannot fool me who is a donkey expert. Don't worry I'll make you "HEHOOA" all day and night."

Ureas: "No! Anything but that!"

Rek: "Ppssht Donkey what else would you be used for? Hahaha haha" Rek laughed it off and started on his donkey.

Ureas: "No! I will not allow you to be my love or life!!" Screaming in despair.

Rek then shoved his little Rek inside of Ureas.

Ureas: "HEHOoA!!!"

Rek: "YES Donkey that it! YeEEeSSSSS!"